Letter from Yaounde to Buea

Dear Mbella,

Remember tomorrow? It was when that Dodan Barracks letter bomb made negative history in Lagos.

I can say this quite safely, because of contemporaneous last words of the dying recipient, when he announce, to wit: “this must be from the COC”, meaning Commander-in-Chief. It is now 28 years since that extraordinary pen Apostle paid the journalistic soldier supreme debt, the way young Siward did in Shakespeare’s Macbeth.

Worse on that inglorious day of 2003, our own Jerome was blasted to the hereafter by rampaging car driven by a loony in professorial garb. If you speak the Queen’s language, beware of the Reunification monument in Ongola.

That symbol of subjugation of the Anglican is an undying jinx. It corners the stigma of death; at least where Anglicans are easily blooded to their ancestors.

If you doubt this go down to the hereafter and you will have many testimonies. Jerome, for example, will tell you, he was chilled and numbed there. And before the NCC confab that he was about to attend opened shop, he had been inadvertently re-baptized as “Late Jerome”.

Hot Tears were still doing a meander down our cheeks when Wilfred; he of the Lebialem was quickly made food for worms in that same position. Even before the “Legacy hunters” and the next of kin schemers of the Central committee rolled out the drums to celebrate the demise of a rival, the Ministerial Jacob’s wife “travelled” from that same stretch. That was long before her better half joined the Heavenly choir.

The Ongola Monument is situated in the valley of the shadow of death. It should stop being where Anglicans go to pass on. I hope you know of how much members are catching up with the gubernatorial Peter of Come-no-go theory. The parvenu must be licking his wounds after he struggled in vain to reign forever like a political Methuselah. But the bad seed he sowed is the dichotomy within the ranks of coastals and “graffis”.

Yet, such a shameful phenomenon has reared its ugly head in every sphere of national life. Meritocracy has been sacrificed on the altar of the gibberish called national balance. That is why parochial minds care not about competence but about tribe and ethnic affiliation. Are you surprised that the REC of the Magic box tower is in for some noisy crucifixion just because he does not hail from the chosen race?

In as much as they would want to push ahead one of theirs, it is logical for the tribal war lords at the board to kiss a bit of patriotism and give competence, experience and longevity a chance. Lest, I forget, we should start beating the drums of war before the hypocritical Iagos of the regime transform the K town varsity into a frog fief.

There has been a growing brouhaha because the arrogant Bianca that is choking with vengeance is in a tough battle just to offer the outfit to the frogs on a platter of gold in order to please the Essingan. Why do that when you pretend to be one of the celebrated intellectuals that this unfortunate triangle has produced in recent history?

Mola, I was happy that they were liberated from the stranglehold of the Islamic hoodlums. Yet, I am saddened at the same time because their release was shrouded in so much controversy. In other words, it means that the hoodlums were empowered with cash and arms.

Let the Zacheuses tell us how much the taxpayers lost in the process. Let us take nothing for granted under the subterfuge of national security. We can’t do just anything and get away with it in the name of national security, otherwise national security will just be anything. Don’t say I did not say it, Mbella.

My regards to Enangs.

Yours Sincerely

Ngwa