Negotiating yourself out of hell

Last week, I shared the story of what my company ran into doing business in Dakar, Senegal.

It did leave a bitter taste in my mouth, but to put it in perspective, when you walk into a room where nobody trusts anybody, how would you expect somebody to trust you? Because you are new or look decent?

Falling into hell As it stands, business is not for the faint hearted or the person who rides on trust and holds himself high as a moral compass. There must and will be times in business when you fall into a ditch and honestly do not know how to turn the tide.

It can be with your bankers, colleagues or even a wife who just doesn’t understand why you spend so much time at work. However, when you do fall into hell, which is supposed to be normal, there are some five lessons I want to share with you.

Maintain your cool No matter the number of people who mistrust you, there will be some other bunch which believe in you… look for them. In my case, it was my colleagues back at the office, my banker colleagues at Guarantee Trust Bank, HFC Bank and Zenith Bank. So just maintain your cool. All is not lost yet.

To get another human being to trust you when others think differently of you is a major step. More so, do you also trust yourself that you are as moral and genuine as you are negotiating? Hell has no patience for lies, deceit and indecisiveness.

Also, in maintaining your cool, do not get angry. Anger never solves any problem; it brings bitterness, grief and weakness. Speak measuredly and stay on course. Stick to your story if that is the honest truth and that is how you want to negotiate.

You do not have to necessarily have the moral argument favouring you all the time, but you need to ensure that you are right by yourself and defending the course you have created and want to maintain.

Throw in a surprise In hell, all is not supposed to go according to plan. There is no script when it comes to negotiating a deal. You first need to know where you want to be at the end of the day, which is the most important thing. How you get there is what the negotiation is about. In his book, ‘The Art of War’, the Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu, argues that when going for war, you should be unpredictable. You cannot give to your opponent what he/she expects.

When they expect you to be cool, act angrily, when you are expected to be very very angry, act extremely cool. That is how you throw your opponent off balance. When they expect you not to accept their apology, give them a kind word.

Negotiation is a mind game; the winner is the one who can stay focused while delving into uneasy territories. When you feel the pressure, ask for a break, take a drink or indulge in something which can take your mind briefly off it.

Have a game plan During negotiation, your sole goal is to get what you want. Because of the surprise element your opponent might bring, you should be prepared to change strategy along the line. However, after the negotiation, whether you win or lose; have a plan. It is even more important to have a plan after the negotiation than before or during. This is because, after negotiation, you know exactly what you have gotten yourself into; your lose, gains and stakes.

Start thinking and writing down the things you are going to lose or gain and what you intend to make of them. Will you rather be a continued loser after a failed negotiation or want your opponent to see the winner in you?

Be a friend Negotiating is not war. It is a meeting of minds from different directions. You might be tempted to take it personal but don’t, as you will be showing your opponent your weakness. Live above the pettiness and hatred. See it as having a conversation with a friend. Let the other person know you are a friend and that you understand their point of view.

When you have weighed your options and countered what you are willing to loose, make concessions. Throw in something which will make the other person know you are reasonable.

There are people who will take advantage of this act, so be careful not to give off too much. Just be measured and test the pulse of the opponent. See if he is reasonable, if not play hard as well, but maintaining a relaxed demeanor. There will be times you need to call a bluff, just make sure the tides are in your favour.

Stay clear on your message Be consistent in your argument. Do not shift the goal post. When you think your argument is flawed and not sure of the consequences, consult somebody who is more knowledgeable.

Get your facts right and stay intelligent in the middle of the negotiation. Pick the little details, create distractions, change topic so you can learn a thing or two but get right back into the game. When you are wrong admit it if necessary and start a new argument.

Conclusion Whoever said business is not fun should come again. Win a deal after a long, long drawn out discussion and you’ll know how it feels like to win. It is the process, not the end. Perfect the process and the end will be sweet to enjoy.

• Yaw Asamoah works at Creative Trends, the organisers of the African SME Summit. Let’s continue the discussion at African SME Summit on Facebook. Email - dreamingafrica@africansme.org.