Doing the jobs of our parent's dreams

I’ve always thought that parenting must be one of the most difficult jobs to do; ensuring you train your children and bring them up in the way they should go that when they grow, they may not depart from it may not be an easy job.

Dreams are like seeds which can grow and be like the biggest tree ever seen. And thus I believe everyone is born with one. Whether rich or poor. Everybody has a dream. Also a fact is that every dream could come with an unquenchable passion.

Today, I have some words for our parents and the parents to be. It is true that you want the best for your child. Of course; who wouldn’t want the whole world for their children? Even the wicked parent would want so.

I’ve numerous stories of people going to the Universities to offer courses because that’s what their families wanted. I’ve heard stories of people going for jobs because their parents had that dream but could not fulfill because of circumstances. Now the child becomes the outstretched arm that ought to fulfill that dream.

Kofi lived in my neighbourhood. I saw him when I was growing up as a child. He was an intelligent young man. He had such a promising future. He was the only child of his rich and strict parents. His father owns a very successful business and his mum owns a school. Apparently, when Kofi’s dad was growing up, he wanted to be one of the best lawyers in the country.

He failed on several occasions at the Law School so he gave up his dream. When Kofi finished his Senior High School, he wanted to pursue medicine. But his dad insisted he does law. He really had no passion for law. He defied his father’s order and offered science in school. For the period he was studying the course, he never had any good relationship with the father. Kofi’s mum called him and advised him to at least obey his dad so there will be peace in the house. The dad had extended his anger to his wife….and the poor woman couldn’t take it.

Well, Kofi obliged and decided to offer law. Oh finally, peace came home. He got a job in a reputable law firm. But every second of every day was a burden for Kofi. He did well as a lawyer but was always stressed because in his heart, law was a chore. He resorted to drinking. Unfortunately, he veered into drugs.

In the early part of last year he told his father how he’s regretted making his dad happy and messing his life up. I’m sorry to announce that he was found dead in his room. Depression and alcohol!

The dad might have learnt his lesson very late in life and he has unfortunately lost what he tried to keep so tightly. Kofi lost his life trying to live with the job of his father’s dreams. Many are fortunate not to have ended like Kofi did. They listened to others and are living unhappy lives because they’re probably having the jobs of their (people’s) dreams.

Many parents have done great jobs praying into their children’s future, seeing them and guiding them into it; I think that’s how it should be though. Many have just done it by observing the children and then guiding them into the bright future they dream of. And these children have ended up being great and forever grateful to their parents. The one who easily comes to mind is Ben Carson. I love his Book THINK BIG.

The narration of how his mother gradually made him who people know today is an inspiration that every parent would want to learn from. So it’s different when you’ve carefully studied or observed the child and think that that’s what he’s good at. But to force a child to be in a job to fulfill your unfulfilled dreams, I think is a no no. Allow the children to bring their God-given talent to bear on their personality and dreams. You will end up being the happiest parent on earth.

I know it’s tough. I can only imagine; especially with all the troubles that come with parenting and then combining with daily work pressures. But who said you can’t do it? You’re more than capable of doing anything to bring that fulfillment to your child and being the one to smile most when he/she succeeds. There’s a super being who knows how to do it. Seek council. Force never worked on anyone.